There's No Crying in Baseball !!!!!

Do you guys remember that part in the movie League of There Own when the girl brakes down because the coach is just laying into her then he starts yelling at her even more because she crying...

All though the scene in the movie cracks me up everytime, it reminds me of what my life has been like growing up in a military family and my relationship with my man. What made me think about this was this weekend events. I was able to see my boyfriend( who is on leave from deployment) for a couple of hours, which was great because last time i saw him was three months ago. Anyways I while we were saying our goodbyes I did something i never do, I started bawling. Of course he responds by asking why I'm trippin and to stop crying; he wasn't being mean/harsh but was letting me know that I needed to chill out.

Now don't get me wrong I cry ALL THE TIME since he started his tour, but i always do it behind close doors where no one can see. When I'm done I clean myself up and keep rollin. People ask me how I am ..."great, awesome, never better". I'm tell ya'll I never miss a beat, I'm a great actress. I learned from a young age with my dad (military also) always being gone or busy, that whining, crying, and complaining doesn't change anything. He said that a person is strongest when they are able to control their emotions and push through hardships. I believe this to a certain extent, and I guess that is also why I felt kinda embarrassed about crying in front of my man.

I don't think of myself as a cold-hearted, emotionless person, but I also know in order for me to get through this deployment and have a successful relationship weakness is not a option. It's a back and forth thing..wanting to scream, letting everyone know you're not okay and just how frustrated, pissed off and burned out you actually are. But realizing you can't because you need to be rock, the one who has or acts like you get it all together, the one who can adapt to anything. Some people may say I(we) have the easy part..at least we aren't in the desert, in some foreign land, fighting a war...

Maybe writing this classifies as complaining but i just wanted to put this out there. Thanks for read this and god bless you all !

Please be quite.. AHHH !!!

OK I just have one more thing to say to but first here is some background. My man, boo, lover, my one and only is in the Army. He is also deployed for a year, sad I know :-s But before he left is was online and everything was saying join a group, support group, people who are going through the same thing as you..makes sense. So I did, on this website and you go on there and you can post you stories/happenings on the groups message board. So for the most part I love it! The females are great, they understand me...I understand them and we bond because we have this one common thread (military boyfriends/husbands).

Now this is what just irks me to hell. The females ( and i really want to say bitches) on there whine about everything or they are asking questions about things that should seem like common sense.

"oh, every time I talk to him, he's always so busy"..."He gets online and doesn't say hello to me"..."I write him letters and he never says anything"...and the best "I found out he was lying to me..he really is married..but I love him..what should I do?"

There are more examples but that is just a few. Now do just me wrong I am a emotional person and going through this has been VERY hard but at the same time these chicks are just too much. I can't take it and may it may seem like something stupid I'm just complaining about but it really does get under my skin. I want to tell them all to grow some balls (but that would be just heartless..I think.

No hood rats !

Okay so I guess I'm super bad at this because I should be doing this every day, right? Anyways I'm sitting on my school library right now just trying to kill time before my next class.

This weekend I was in DC like always and went out with some of my friends. Had a great time as usual. I think the highlight of my life right now is the weekends because doing the week I'm at home or in class..which is very boring. But I tend to hang with mostly guys..not just the regular men bu the type that most females want. Now I know that sound a little...Um i can't think of the word, but it's true. They are young successful fine black men. They are down to earth, funny, no drama having, home owning, good credit score black men lol. I love that! We always have a good time and who can really ask for more. *** For the record I have not slept with any of them, I'm taken :-).

Moving on we went two places. One was like this bar, kinda like BW3's on crack with a riding bull and all. NOT my style. Then we when to our other spot. Love this place though it is about the size of a small two bedroom house. It's the type of place were the DJ is ALWAYS playing the hottest music/best throwbacks, everyone is dressed (no tennis shoes, tims,baggy pants) and everyone is just bobbing their head , socializing and having a good time. No hood rats=No drama..what more can you ask for!

Great times

In the Beginning

So the reason why i wanted to start this...I'm looking for a way to just a lot of me feelings out. I going though a lot of things right now...nothing bad just a lot of changes I feel. So what better way to account for everything than to write it down. Now i ready don't know if there are any rules to this and I really don't care if any once else reads this. I will just be happy to look back on things and see growth