There's No Crying in Baseball !!!!!

Do you guys remember that part in the movie League of There Own when the girl brakes down because the coach is just laying into her then he starts yelling at her even more because she crying...

All though the scene in the movie cracks me up everytime, it reminds me of what my life has been like growing up in a military family and my relationship with my man. What made me think about this was this weekend events. I was able to see my boyfriend( who is on leave from deployment) for a couple of hours, which was great because last time i saw him was three months ago. Anyways I while we were saying our goodbyes I did something i never do, I started bawling. Of course he responds by asking why I'm trippin and to stop crying; he wasn't being mean/harsh but was letting me know that I needed to chill out.

Now don't get me wrong I cry ALL THE TIME since he started his tour, but i always do it behind close doors where no one can see. When I'm done I clean myself up and keep rollin. People ask me how I am ..."great, awesome, never better". I'm tell ya'll I never miss a beat, I'm a great actress. I learned from a young age with my dad (military also) always being gone or busy, that whining, crying, and complaining doesn't change anything. He said that a person is strongest when they are able to control their emotions and push through hardships. I believe this to a certain extent, and I guess that is also why I felt kinda embarrassed about crying in front of my man.

I don't think of myself as a cold-hearted, emotionless person, but I also know in order for me to get through this deployment and have a successful relationship weakness is not a option. It's a back and forth thing..wanting to scream, letting everyone know you're not okay and just how frustrated, pissed off and burned out you actually are. But realizing you can't because you need to be rock, the one who has or acts like you get it all together, the one who can adapt to anything. Some people may say I(we) have the easy part..at least we aren't in the desert, in some foreign land, fighting a war...

Maybe writing this classifies as complaining but i just wanted to put this out there. Thanks for read this and god bless you all !